Another week in the books, another set of guys hanging around at the edge of the high school gym, waiting for you ask them to dance. You sexy stud, you!
Whether you need a quarterback to handle some bye-week blues or need some flex help because you're starting Shonn Greene and you hate your life, we've got your covered. Just remember to thank us next week; our preferred gifts come barbecued, with a side of corn bread.
Nick Foles
Well, it's safe to say that not a lot of people saw that coming. Much like Arcade Fire's first album or that time you beat "Legend of Zelda" for the first time, sometimes everything just falls into place. Oakland is a much better defense than what they showed today, which either means they had the most off day in the history of off days, or this Jon Heder Nick Foles fellow is pretty good.
Now, it's fair to temper expectations at this point and say there's just no way he'll be able to play at that level or near it week in and week out. That much should be common sense. What we do know, however, is the Eagles have a very beatable schedule coming up - Packers, Redskins, Cardinals, and Lions - and with the emergence of Riley Cooper and the steadiness of LeSean McCoy at his disposal, he's going to be borderline top-10 weekly as long as he can stay healthy.
He's the #1 target this week, unless you're starting NAIA guys at RB/WR, in which case, you'll want to go for some of the guys below.
Case Keenum
I can see the Dickens parody now: Case Keenum and the Tale of the Two Halves.
In the first half against the Colts, Keenum was downright electric, despite an ineffective Ben Tate and an injured Arian Foster not helping his cause. He was efficient, made quick decisions, and even made a few plays with his feet.
And then the second half happened. Not that he was bad, but rather he regressed into what is likely his ceiling: a replacement-level Eli Manning, in his good years.
So let's focus not necessarily on his inconsistency - which we should expect, he's an undrafted rookie who looks like you or me on the practice field - and instead focus on his matchup the next three weeks: Arizona, Oakland and Jacksonville.
If that didn't make your fantasy football mouth fill with saliva, you're not doing it right. Or you're a normal person, unlike me.
Riley Cooper
When it comes to picking up Riley, it's not quite black and white, is it?
I know, har har. What can you expect though? How can you discuss him and not bring it up? That's like interviewing Justin Bieber and not asking him about why he chooses look like a woman!
Coop has been quietly consistent over the past three weeks - changing up between 5-7 targets and coming down with a catch rate north of 75% on those targets. He's also turned those receptions into big plays, averaging over 20 yards per completion and adding nearly two touchdowns to his offense over a league-average WR in the same position. Nice.
For the Eagles to threaten at all in the NFC, they're going to need someone - anyone - to step up as a WR2 complement to DeSean Jackson. As long as he's getting targets, coming down with them, and turning them into big plays, you have to hang with Mr. Cooper.
Jonathan Stewart
Take this with a grain of salt, as even in the best of situations, he's in a three-person hydra RBBC with DeAngelo Williams, Mike Tolbert, and potentially Cam "Where's my laptop?" Newton as well given his red zone abilities.
With all of that said, Stewart is efficient enough to be the starting back for at least one-third of NFL teams, so it's hard to imagine they won't kick his tires a little bit in order to see whether or not he deserves a true RBBC workload or more. If he proves that and/or DeAngelo falls prey to an injury or a bad bowl of chili, Stewart is a sure-fire flex play at his worst, with some decent matchups coming.
Also worth noting: he's been the most-efficient RB for the Panthers every year he's been in the league, adding about 0.1 points to his team's points every time he touches the ball. The more you know!
Aaron Dobson
You should have seen this explosion coming a mile away, like the dude you just watched eat two burritos at Chipotle.
Tom Brady wasn't going to stay terrible forever, was he? Dobson wasn't going to do nothing with all of those double-digit targets week in and week out, was he?
For a hot minute, Julian Edelman was the WR du jour and now he's effectively selling nachos in the stands. Kenbrell Thompkins has never out-targeted Dobson, save a single week in which Dobson played sparingly. And Amendola? Mr. Glass will continue to receive WR1 coverage from opponent's top guy, leaving Dobson free to run wild, baby!
His drops are a concern, but comparables don't lie: Torry Holt is his top comparable with Mario Manningham and Brandon Lloyd checking in as well. Buy him.
Rashad Jennings
You just knew that Darren McFadden wasn't going to be able to stay healthy. He's the West Coast Danny Amendola, just running and getting injured all the live long day.
Enter our man Rashad Jennings! Jennings is just the kind of back who thrives in this situation, sort of like when you call in Jesse Eisenberg for a role when Michael Cera isn't available. Whether it was his spurts of competence in Jacksonville backing up MJD or the Week 4 performance where he ripped off eight receptions against the Redskins, Jennings is going to give you workman-like production for as long as he gets his opportunities. Or, more accurately, when someone more talented gets injured.
His comparables all point to competence: Duce Staley, Tim Hightower, and Thomas Jones all make an appearance in his top five. He's not going to win any games for you, but he'll get you 10 points for the one week you might need it and really, isn't that what this article is all about?