Is Carmelo Anthony Being the Best Carmelo He Can Be?

A few days ago, Carmelo Anthony released an article that he wrote (maybe) about his journey to become a “digital athlete.” At first I was confused, because I’ve played a lot of NBA2K15 and everyone in the NBA is already a digital athlete, technically. At least a digital version exists for each of them, you know? Heck, even my overweight blogger ass is in the game after some careful face scanning and beard sculpting.

What was Melo talking about?

Then I tried what so few people do these days and read past the title and consumed the article before making my opinions public for all the Internet to see. It turns out that Melo is talking about his becoming an entrepreneur (maybe I should’ve caught that from the “Entrepreneurial Journey” part of the title, but who even has time to read full titles nowadays?).

If you’re interested in Melo (or his ghostwriter) explaining the whole thing better than I’m currently doing, check out “My Entrepreneurial Journey To Becoming A Digital Athlete” over at TechCrunch.com.

Are you back yet? Ok, let’s continue.

There was one quote that stood out to me as I was reading:

"For example, when I practice, I use a sophisticated device that measures biometric data. My diet and training routines are all guided by data. I use a wearable to monitor my sleep patterns. It’s safe to say that if there’s technology out there that can make me a better athlete, I’m using it."

Really Melo? Are you really using every form of technology out there to make yourself a better athlete?

NBA.com has some pretty sophisticated player tracking technology in place that monitors your every move on the court, and everyone with an Internet connection has access to it. I’ll let them explain:

"Player Tracking is the latest example of how technology and statistics are changing the way we understand the game of basketball. Using six cameras installed in the catwalks of every NBA arena, SportVU software tracks the movements of every player on the court and the basketball 25 times per second. The data collected provides a plethora of innovative statistics based around speed, distance, player separation and ball possession. Some examples include: how fast a player moves, how far he traveled during a game, how many touches of the ball he had, how many passes he threw, how many rebounding chances he had and much more."

According to this fancy technology, you’re the slowest player on your team, Melo. This season, through 30 games, you've been running at an average speed of 3.8 miles per hour. That's even slower than Amar'e Stoudemire (3.9 mph) -- your next slowest teammate -- and he hasn't had functioning knees in years! Where's the hustle, man?

In terms of distance traveled per 48 minutes, you're also dead last at 3.0 miles per 48 minutes. That's even less than Cole Aldrich (3.2 miles per 48 minutes), who's nearly seven feet tall and weighs 245 pounds! Maybe you'd become a better athlete if you listened to technology and ran with a little more purpose, eh?

Of course, you deserve props for scoring 23.9 points per game, but you seem to be doing it in the least athletic way possible compared to other leading scorers. Guys like James Harden, Russell Westbrook, Kevin Durant, Kobe Bryant, and Stephen Curry rack up a lot of their points with drives to the hoop, whereas you only score 1.8 points that way per game.

Granted, you're a bit beefier than those guys, but other bigs -- like Anthony Davis, DeMarcus Cousins, and Blake Griffin -- score most of their points on close shots (within 12 feet of the basket). You only score 2.0 points per game that way.

In fact, of all the top scorers in the league, you have the highest ratio of your points that come from the combination of catch-and-shoot (6.1) and pull-up (5.3) jumpers as compared to drives and close shots. Seems pretty lazy to me!

Finally, how about the advancements in medical technology? You've been dealing with knee soreness and "shut down" talk for two years now. In fact, you've admitted to having several people -- including your bosses -- tell you it might be wise to shut it down this year.

Your Knicks are currently 5-33 and mired in a 13-game losing streak, and you basically have nothing left to play for this season. Can't any of your "sophisticated devices" or "wearables" tell you that you should go get that knee taken care of once and for all? Go enjoy your $124 million contract and get right in case the Knicks get good before you turn 35 or you get traded to a team that needs you to be a better (or at least healthier) athlete!

You'll have plenty of time to be an entrepreneur later, but for now, you're being paid a ridiculous amount of money to play sports. You know that the public won't accept you having a life outside of basketball while you're under our watchful eye. If you're not approaching the game with the same kind of compulsive tunnel vision of the greats -- like MJ and Kobe did -- you're simply not doing it right. Greatness is measured in rings, dude, not entrepreneurial endeavors (and certainly not by "wearables"). Find the technology that tells you that fact, go win some rings (although, let's be honest, the Bulls were probably your last chance to do that), retire, and then write your tech articles. Capisce?

Note: The author of this article is, in fact, a big fan of Carmelo Anthony's and considers him to be one of the best scorers on the planet and a criminally underrated fantasy asset. Furthermore, the author does not actually think he has the right to criticize a professional athlete from behind his keyboard, especially not when it comes to being a normal human being with (admittedly commendable) interests outside of one's full-time job. That would be hypocritical, considering writing on this site is exactly that for the author. Also, he probably hasn't even walked 3.0 miles over the past week, let alone per 48 minutes every couple days. What does he know?